Online dating can be exciting and meaningful. However, it also carries significant risk. Romance scammers target individuals seeking connection and companionship, using emotional manipulation to cause serious financial and personal harm.

808 Investigations assists individuals throughout Hawaiʻi who suspect they are being targeted by a romance scam or who have already suffered losses.

Dating platforms such as Plenty of Fish, OurTime, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Christian Singles, eHarmony, OkCupid, Badoo, Match.com, Bumble, and Hinge provide opportunities to meet new people. Unfortunately, scammers actively use these same platforms to deceive victims.

Romance scammers invest time building emotional trust before requesting money, cryptocurrency, gift cards, or sensitive personal information. These scams can unfold over weeks or even months.

Hawaiʻi residents lost more than $60 million to fraud in 2024, with romance scams representing a rapidly growing portion of those losses. Reports indicate that romance-related scam losses in the islands have increased more than 80 percent since 2020.

These crimes are sophisticated, organized, and often international in scope.

Understanding how scammers initiate communication can help prevent victimization.

Common platforms include:

Plenty of Fish
Match.com
Bumble
Hinge
OkCupid
eHarmony
Badoo
Christian Singles
OurTime

Scammers create fake profiles using stolen photos and fabricated personal stories. These profiles often portray attractive professionals, military personnel, engineers, or investors working overseas.

Platforms frequently used include:

Facebook
Instagram
TikTok

Initial messages often appear friendly and flattering, such as:

“Hi beautiful, I saw your profile and felt I had to reach out.”
“You look familiar. Do we know each other?”
“I don’t usually do this, but you caught my eye.”

The goal is to establish quick emotional engagement.

Commonly used apps include:

WhatsApp
Signal
Telegram

Discord

Scammers typically attempt to move conversations off dating platforms quickly. This reduces the likelihood that suspicious behavior will be flagged or monitored.

Many scams begin with unsolicited text messages from unknown numbers.

Common opening messages include:

“Hello, is this Anna?”
“Sorry if I reached out to the wrong person, but you seem nice.”
“Hi, I may have the wrong number, but maybe we can be friends?”
“Hello dear, how are you today?”

Once the recipient responds, the scammer works to build rapport and deepen communication.

• Rapid declarations of love or emotional commitment
   
• Claims of working overseas or on an oil rig, military base, or international project
   
• Requests for cryptocurrency, wire transfers, or gift cards
   
• Refusal to meet in person or participate in live video calls
   
• Pressure to keep the relationship secret
   
• Sudden “emergencies” requiring financial help
   

Immediate steps may include:

• Cease communication with the suspected scammer
   
• Contact your bank or credit union immediately
   
• Report the incident to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)
   
• Notify local law enforcement
   
• Avoid so-called “recovery services,” which are often scams themselves
   

Professional verification and investigative assistance can also help determine whether a person is who they claim to be.

Romance scam victims frequently delay reporting due to:

• Embarrassment or fear of judgment
   
• Fear of retaliation or blackmail
   
• Emotional attachment and hope the relationship is real
   
• Financial shame over losses
   
• Concern that authorities may not take the case seriously
   

These reactions are common and understandable. Romance scams are highly manipulative and designed to exploit trust.

Erin West, former prosecutor and founder of Operation Shamrock, has described the rise of romance and cryptocurrency “pig butchering” scams as one of the most devastating financial crimes affecting individuals today.

She explains:

“At its core, pig butchering is a romance scam or cryptocurrency investment scheme. Scammers spend months building trust, showing off a lavish lifestyle, and eventually persuade victims to invest only to drain their life savings.”

“Pig butchering preys on the entire net worth of the victim, consuming them from snout to tail, leaving no meat on the bone.”

“Lead with empathy. Smart people, even those who work in finance or tech, get hit. The scammers are that good.”

Her perspective reflects what investigators see daily. These scams are global, organized, and emotionally devastating.

Debra Allen is the lead investigator at 808 Investigations, a division of Allen Investigations LLC. The firm assists clients in Hawaiʻi with verification, fraud investigation, and protective strategies.

Services may include:

• Verifying whether an online identity is legitimate
   
• Investigating suspicious financial requests
   
• Identifying patterns of fraud activity
   
• Assisting with safe communication termination
   
• Coordinating with law enforcement when appropriate
   
• Providing guidance and emotional support resources
   

Each case is handled with discretion and professionalism.

If you suspect you are being targeted by a romance scam, or if you have already been victimized, professional guidance is available. Directions below how to set up a consultation.  

Confidential consultations are private. Information is not shared without client permission.

Do not wait until losses escalate. Early intervention can prevent further financial and emotional harm.